Heyooo wassup wassup!
It’s blogger Bella here, coming to you live from the week before finals… You can say that my brain is a little frazzled.
Anyways, I came here to tell you about one of the biggest decisions I’ve had to make in my ENTIRE LIFE. No, it’s not whether or not I should order extra guac at Chipotle. Nothing could be that serious. I came here to talk about how I made the decision to change majors. You may be saying, “Whaaaa? But I thought she loved film?? Didn’t she… just write about… wait… Isabella wrote about how much she loved the film program at Biola not even a month ago.” I know, I know. This must be super confusing for all of you avid readers out there, so let me explain:
A little under a year ago, I felt God leading me towards full time ministry. Trust me, if any of you guys were confused when you read that (^) imagine how confused I was when God was calling me towards a completely different major than the one I was in. It wasn’t even like I disliked my film classes either. I still wanted to pursue film. Film was and still is something that I’m passionate about. I love all the parts of visual storytelling and the fun I have while creating, which is why I was so confused as to why God kept prompting this idea of full time ministry. So I suppressed the thought. I made excuses like “oh, every Christian feels led to full time ministry.” I even tried to compromise with God by telling him I’d just do ministry on the side while I continued on with film. This went on for months. Even if I wasn’t going to fall behind in credits for graduation and even if I wanted to leave the film program, I would’ve still been terrified.
The idea was daunting since I knew what life working at a church looked like. My dad used to be a pastor and my family and I have always been heavily involved in church. I know there are many issues that could potentially bubble up in ministry such as financial stability, job stability, and (the worst of them all) being in a spiritual rut but still having to be spiritually “on.” But somehow, whenever I thought about ministry as my future, I felt overwhelming peace. Like the kind of peace I received after I recommitted my life to Jesus. So I knew the Holy Spirit was working and there was no denying it. But, being the disobedient child I am, I still ignored God. I even didn’t talk to anyone about it because I knew that anybody who I told was going to try and keep me accountable. I didn’t want to be kept accountable, I wanted to ignore it!
It wasn’t until mid-summer that my stubbornness turned to listening. I was at a college retreat for my church when this shift happened. We were all around a campfire just finished singing and worshiping together when we entered into a time of communal prayer. My pastor asked anyone who was dealing with a struggle or trial to stand up. We all surrounded the people standing up and prayed over those people. After many prayers, my pastor started to wrap it up, but then stopped and said, “I’m sorry, but I feel led to do one more. I want to pray for anyone who feels called to go into full time ministry.” This was it. This was God being blunt, so I stood up. I expected to be one of maybe a few, but lo and behold, I was the only one. Everyone surrounded me and one of my dear friends prayed over me. I felt so deeply loved and supported be those around me and felt so much peace about this calling. I started to cry because I felt so overwhelmed. When school started, I continued to pray about switching and talked to loved ones about it. Everyone’s response was so plain and simple –– switch.
So I did it. I am now a Christian ministries major
with a concentration in children’s ministry. I love where I’m at. As I finish up this semester, I will miss my film classes and the program we have here, but I’m looking forward to ministry classes and new experiences. This season has taught me so much more about the character of God and how to listen better to His voice, even if He leads me down a road I don’t think I want to go down.
If you want to know more about why I changed my major or how the process was for me, feel free to shoot me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org . Love you all! Peace n’ blessings.